The Start of The Journey

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

by Mary Oliver

I first came across this poem about a year and a half ago. My mum had given me a book of poems from a second hand book sale. This was the first poem in a collection of poems by Roger Housden entitled 'Ten Poems to Change Your Life'. I remember not being able to move off that first page and reading that poem again and again. It was like there was a voice in the room speaking to me, taking me by the shoulders and shaking me, willing me to move on from I was in my life ,which was stuck, frozen, not knowing which way to turn next. I have since read more about Roger and his wife and their life story and found it so inspiring, but more about that another time. I have started on my journey since that first reading, reluctantly and with trepidation. Change is scary. It can be difficult as the poem suggests and there can be many times when you want to revert to what is comfortable and safe and familiar.

I know now that only I can be reponsible for my own happiness and I can not sit around waiting for the changes to happen to me, I have to take control and reponsibility. My journey is beginning, it is not going to be easy but it is exciting. Starting this blog is part of that journey, an acknowledgement of how I must change and what I need to do to live my life openly and honestly. I like to write but have so far lacked the discipline and confidence to take it seriously. This is my first step in attempting to deal with that attitude. I hope to be able to share the reading,writing and poetry that I like and admire as well as posting my own creative offerings and musings on my life and life in general. Looking forward to the journey.

"The purpose of a book is to serve as an axe for the frozen sea within us." - Annie Dillard